What I can't figure out is, who plays the fool? Do you shake your head at a person who chooses left and mutter 'dumbass'... or is it cowardice to go right? What if the road you just came from was as fucked as the choices that lay before you?... Can you not just set up camp, exclaim you'll not go back, but you'll not go further, and twiddle the years away waiting for that one semi to come by that puts you out of your misery?...
I've never been a gambler... each major choice, for the most part, I've made has been contemplated... calculated... slept on... lied awake to... agonized over... and those that I have not performed this ritual on have ended in a bad way... so ok Mikey, learn... think... you find yourself at a fork... what are you going to do?...I'll sleep on it...
Morning comes... I've had to change my alarm to my fiancee's voice sternly lecturing, "Wake the Fuck Up" so at least I hear an alarm... though I snooze it 10 times before I finally stumble to the shower... staying under the hot water for half an hour trying to gain my wits... Another half an hour passes as I rush out the door and head for my morning coffee... same routine... same routine that has me arriving to work half an hour late... but I don't care... I've stopped caring long ago... if I didn't have to go back, I wouldn't be too upset... but that's the problem with ruts, once your in them, if you're not equipped, it take a lot of effort to get out.
It's not that my work is a bad place to be... many people quite enjoy it, and even more are struggling to get in... It's more... I'm just done with my profession as a whole... I promised myself 10 years, and I'm 3 years overdue keeping it. But I analyze... if this is the fork, then right would be to stay gainfully employed at a job I'm good at, and paid well for, yet void of adventure and wisdom... and left... well... left would be a number of lefts really... since my only secondary skills are sandblasting, football, and having a wealth of useless trivia... not too promising...
Oh First World Problems... they seem so daunting... but when I ask myself if when I'm old, I can look back at my life and say that I've made a difference... if I had to judge to date... the answer is no... so, when life is hard you have to change...
People say that if you do what you love and have a passion for it, the money will come. The people who say this are all usually rich and famous BUT, I will say that anyone I've met who had the BALLS to leave security and comfort zones behind and truly do what they feel good about/meant to do/their purpose.. are far happier than the rest of the sad fucks I know.
ReplyDeleteMy friend Lawrence is a perfect example. He used to work for a university in Toronto and left literally everything, including 99% of his possessions behind to go organic farm and be a hippie all around the world lol. Last time I talked to him he was in Botswana. Every picture or blog update I see is from the top of a mountain, or an incredible view somewhere. Every single time I'm jealous because I know I will never have the balls to leave security behind, to go outside my comfort zone, to really go for something BIG. I play it safe. Maybe I'll get up the courage, maybe I won't, but the lesson is: if you have the balls, do it.
Don't spend your life unhappy.