I'm going to try and start a new swear gesture... I'm quite pleased by it, being the spur of the moment that it was... Another boring as fuck day came to a close at the office, and I was mindlessly stuck in traffic trying to distance myself from that place... I found myself strangely hypnotized by a portable compressor that a city truck was towing behind it... bobbling back and forth between the lane lines... the tail lights dancing before me like fireflies in the night... my head slowly swaying back and forth transfixed... in time with the sway... not noticing that I had crossed out of the left lane partially into the right, thus cutting off a less than enthused proud owner of a rusted Caravan...
I guess, from being an antagonistic forward in hockey, I always hope to get told off in at least an original way, if not a clever one... but alas, this sad specimen of Soccer Mom managed only to muster mouthing "Fuck You" while giving me the finger... though she did it balancing a cigarette, so some skill, though the French judge only gave her a 2.1... It might not have been pretty, but at least it provoked the appropriate response out of me... As if I was channeling some sort of Anger Muse, I shouted back, "Yeah.... Well Occupy This Bitch!" whilst I motioned my hands towards my crotchal region as I thrust forward, causing me to speed forward as my foot was still firmly on the accelerator... that sly smirk sliding across like a cat who just ate the canary... God I'm clever... Jesus... Where is my mind?
I'm still smirking as I pull in my driveway... this has amused me far too much, a testament to a shitty day... I've discovered how close to bachelorhood I am at any given moment... and I don't mean single, far from it... those old habits and ways are just under the surface waiting to crest... Case in point... The fiancee is off to play volleyball and though, I like to think I'm progressive in my views on social issues, she usually does the cooking... this ensures I actually eat healthy... problem is, everything to eat is so damned time-consuming to make... My options are cereal (bachelor's favourite) or wait... there are eggs, omelet it is... I turn to breakfast food more so for the ease than the enjoyment... 5 minutes, done before the coffee is even brewed... Great because no wait, but not so good because you have to cut that pot off early, and that means the first pour is ten times stronger than it needs to be... A quick disrobing and rough scattering of clothes around the living room... SportsCentre on way too loud, and ahhh... this is the life...Jesus... Where is my mind?
Lawl. Nicely done, sir.
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