I'm not bitter...not at all...I have been 100% happily single for over a month...confused single for 2 months...and clear as mud single for 3 and a half months as I untangle my life from my ex-wife's...though with what has prompted this blog, happily in the sense I am no longer in a bad relationship...not happy to be single...
So...you're 33...divorced...overweight... recently wounded...and thrust back into a world you did not want to ever visit again...where the fuck did I put that map and compass...
When you hit this part...this is where your friends chime in with all the motivational speeches about how great a guy you are, or how she doesn't know what she's lost...how you need to be happy in your own skin, able to love yourself first...the one I got recently is it is better to be alone than wrong... or how you are going to find that great girl to make you happy...blah blah blah...you are thankful for their support...but words can only go so far...
So what do you do? You do have options...you can rebound with someone new, as fast as you can, to fool yourself and hurt your ex...I think I'll pass....you can rebound with an ex...also pass...you can hole-up and create a World of Warcraft character and withdraw from the world...I would consider that one only if I could be a high-level Paladin...and you don't start off with that...and I'm not dedicated enough to put in the hours building up a character to that...oh...and the lack of sex with other than your hand deters me of that one too...or you can do the most painful...turn and face it all head-on...it's hard...you cry...a lot...you sleep...very little...you eat...very little...you drink...a lot...you work...a lot...you make yourself busy so that you only grant yourself select moments where you have nothing but your thoughts to tackle...it's not for the timid...but you come out of it ready to move on...on your own terms...and although there are some things that only time or another love interest will finally banish...you don't entertain faltering...that is not an option...
So...now you're 33...divorced...overweight...recently healed...and walking around in this world of dating you've been thrust into...still no map or compass...but you are leaving bread crumbs and rock piles to track your path...add to it the fact that you've been down this road a few times before...and you know the routine...you are on the upswing...although that is a variable expanse of time...and here you are dating...
Fuck...you have been on enough of them now, you should know the procedure:
1. Go out
2. Meet Girl
3. Discover mutual interest
4. Date girl
5. If successful, continue to relationship, go to step 7
6. If unsuccessful, back to the drawing board, go to step 1
7. Have a relationship
8. If successful, continue to fall in love, go to step 10
9. If unsuccessful, back to the drawing board, go to step 1
10. Fall in love
11. Propose
12. If successful, continue to marriage, go to step 14
13. If unsuccessful, go back to at least step 7, if not step 1
14. Marriage
15. I think it's happily ever after at this point...with work of course...I made it to version b of 15, divorce and go back to step 1
Who am I joking...it's not even close to being that simple...if it was...Plenty of Fish wouldn't have 155,000 users currently online....I know this fact because, sadly...I've created a profile...ah...when in Rome...but as I said before...this part sucks ass...selling yourself without selling yourself short...your mental health suffers as you deal with the ups and downs of acceptance and rejection...your finances take a hit because of all the dinners/movies/entertainment you pay for...if you go on enough first date only's...your sex life disappears...augment this with the odd one that you go on a few dates with before you decide no...and you can't help but feeling a little depressed....
Some people have the ability to sit and wait...not I...I'm too much of an emotional person who craves human interaction to just sit idly by...So I dance the dance...and continue to tell myself...6 months down the road...this will all be behind you and you will laugh at how pathetic you are right now...why the fuck doesn't life have a fast forward button...
11. Propose
12. If successful, continue to marriage, go to step 14
13. If unsuccessful, go back to at least step 7, if not step 1
14. Marriage
15. I think it's happily ever after at this point...with work of course...I made it to version b of 15, divorce and go back to step 1
Who am I joking...it's not even close to being that simple...if it was...Plenty of Fish wouldn't have 155,000 users currently online....I know this fact because, sadly...I've created a profile...ah...when in Rome...but as I said before...this part sucks ass...selling yourself without selling yourself short...your mental health suffers as you deal with the ups and downs of acceptance and rejection...your finances take a hit because of all the dinners/movies/entertainment you pay for...if you go on enough first date only's...your sex life disappears...augment this with the odd one that you go on a few dates with before you decide no...and you can't help but feeling a little depressed....
Some people have the ability to sit and wait...not I...I'm too much of an emotional person who craves human interaction to just sit idly by...So I dance the dance...and continue to tell myself...6 months down the road...this will all be behind you and you will laugh at how pathetic you are right now...why the fuck doesn't life have a fast forward button...
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